Someone forgot to give me the memo that after you get married, the first few months you are living under a rock. The wedding and everything surrounding it doesn’t stop when the reception ends. You begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but the last stretch of the journey is a few more meltdowns and naps of exhaustion.
So what exactly happens to send you on your married way?
1. Pinterest fails you, boy does it fail you. The months of looking at pretty table ideas and unrealistic wedding dresses has carefully misguided you. Somehow there is little mention for cures for post-wedding exhaustion. No posts with strange lemon juice in a mason jar to cure tiredness to be found. No cutesy quotes to relate to the never ending to-do list. Somehow, through all the tips of social media, friends, family and Google. You missed the tip that you would be tired for several months after.
2. You feel like a character from Homeland. Someone has to send the CIA to find you. Your ability to stay on top of communication with friends and go to invites for coffee is swapped for sleeping from exhaustion. Walking around in the real world is saved for the bare essentials of work, supermarket and the occasional trip to the gym. Your head can’t get past thank you notes, chasing photographers or thinking what your next project will be now that the wedding is done. Until your to do list is complete you are in an ongoing post-wedding planning phase thinking of the things to do. When the last item is complete it feels like a weight lifted off your shoulder. That final checked item alone may morph you into a new superhero.
3. It may feel like you have been living under a rock and for all you knew, the Walking Dead was a reality. You are happy to re-enter the real world and realize the apocalypse hasn’t happened. A moment comes when you can leave your cave and re-join the outside world. The moment comes around the same time you rip up your to do list. It is time to step into a new energized newlywed world. No more wedding talk, there are more serious issues to discuss such as what is for dinner and maybe getting creative with the potatoes. This burst of energy that emerges is months in the making and is the sign that you are rested and can finally be that housewife you dreamed about.
4. How does Martha Stewart survive? Once a newlywed realizes they no longer need their book of organization or pinterest is no longer just for weddings. You realize a lot of time just opened up. However, the newlywed energy tends to send you to a new project. Across the world, women must be creating new recipes, taking on some craft project or finding some project. No, I don’t mean the baby making kind, I mean the projects for the newlyweds that legit have no baby making plans. Clearly, Martha has some serious competition from the millions of us out there.
5. You are married. It sinks into your head, you are stuck with your other half. You may feel a dash of traditionalism hitting you so you feel you have to show you are wife material. Most of the time you end up in the kitchen conducting trial and errors. Okay a lot of errors, so much so that you have been signed up for a cooking workshop.
6. You are married part two. No really, you are married and you do feel different. I challenge anyone who says they don’t feel different. A colleague told me suddenly I was prettier now that I was married. Since I had a few pre-wedding make up detoxes, I let that one go. Especially as she was right, subconsciously you dress a little different, you are more together and feel more stable and it glows.
Throughout all this process, one thing is clear. If you picked Mr. Right, this experience will only happen once. Or if you are a Kardashian than a few times. No one can describe the feeling you will have before, during and after that wedding. However, at some point enough is enough and you are happy to start a new chapter, the post-wedding chapter. Let life get into a routine again. Go to the gym because you want to, not because you need to fit into a dress. Try a new recipe, because it would be nice to try something new. Take in the silence of having nothing to plan. Prepare yourself for the many arguments about who is taking the trash out for the years to come. Simply enjoy it.