Let’s cut to the chase. There is some hidden book somewhere that someone forgot to lend to me before I started planning a wedding. No, I am not talking about the cliché stress of inviting the wrong people or picking the wrong shade of blue as your color theme. Time to get real. You are soon going to start a new chapter in your life. Emotions run high as a Real World Episode and your thoughts explore every inch of your pre-wedding dress body.
So what exactly happens to send you to new depths?
- Finding a balance between traditional vs. modern might as well be a new version of Fiddler on the Roof. From your mother informing you how to address people on invitations to what is traditional gifts for wedding guests. You find yourself realizing weddings are just not the way they used to be. It is now more common that the bride and groom are fully independent when it comes to producing a wedding. You can follow a religious part, but it will not be the way it was 100 years ago. No becomes the new norm for when people ask if you will do this or that.
- Just as fast as Don Draper drinks on Mad Men does the topic of babies come up and the topic can’t be killed. You may have a set plan that no kids are on the horizon. You can discuss and close the topic during your appetizer, but by dessert the topic re-emerges. People assume that getting married means a baby will come within a year. It may be 2015, but people still think that way. No matter how firm you are, everyone questions you to the point that soon to be newlyweds begin to question themselves. Luckily, one crying baby quickly erases the question mark.
- Who knew photos of white beaches and palm trees could be stressful! Never fear, honeymoon planning will throw another curve ball. You have a love/hate relationship with your honeymoon. You want it so much and already want it to be here, but you know you also have to think of logistics. Add planning around monsoon or hurricane seasons and quite frankly, I would rather lock myself in a closet with a UV light and call it our honeymoon destination.
- You realize your name changes and your life is set with the other. Don’t be silly, of course you know these things before getting married. But at one point it really sinks in no I mean really sinks in. Whoever says that it is nothing is clearly looking at divorce court in a few years. It is something. Not a bad thing, just a wow this is getting real thing.
- Heaven forbid, but you may actually have to follow the Kardashians path of eating a lot and then going on some crazy exercise plan. You are expecting that at some point when you choose your dress that your mind would switch and you would instantly be on some crazy health craze. After all, that is the number one topic to come up when you are looking at dresses. For some reason, your body mentally is refusing to do such thing. Sure you try and amp up your work outs or eat less sugar. But mentally your mind isn’t connecting the dots that most important dress is coming up. So you may have to wait until my mind wakes up and do some crazy Kardashian last minute workout plan.
- You become one of those people that you yourself would normally strangle. Somehow, you fit your wedding into every conversation including conversations about cleaning the cat box. You do it sub-consciously and it is to the point that you want to strangle yourself.
- Where is Marty McFly when you need him? You want to go to the future and get to your wedding day already. There are days when you are so done with planning and you just want the wedding to happen. Even an Elvis wedding is looking like a good option if it means it can happen now. You’re just excited and ready, you don’t want to wait anymore.
Somehow, people keep the obvious on the down low and instead throw wedding dress and flower info your way to the point you need to plant some new trees for paper. It is so blatantly obvious that you are about to enter a new phase of life, but somehow in the early days of your wedding planning, you forgot that all of these things will come up. Preparing for a wedding is not planning, it is a process. If you can accept that process and that your mind may not be 100% for a few months than everything must be on track.
Of course, a crazy amount of yoga and shots of whisky may help.