The change of a number changes everything, didn’t you know? Isn’t it strange how that stroke of midnight and those few seconds is all we need to get that new prerogative in our heads? That this will be a good year and better than the last, all thoughts are happy and positive?…. Well who cares if it is silly, because this lady will take every little piece of help she can get!
The out with the old and in with the new has been in play this week for me. However, a realization came to me. Could it possibly be that me, the one who has travelled and is not afraid to speak her mind is actually miserable if she is not in her comfort zone? For example, I was just in London the place all say is amazing. However, after my many visits, I despise the city. I loved being with my friend, but the city made me miserable. I felt like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz, as I felt evil for being a pain to my friend about the city and I felt I was melting from misery as I was uncomfortable not being in Holland for New Years. Every underground ride made me want to be in Holland even more. Was it a sign that I am too comfortable in my little studio and my daily routines? Or is it simply I was anxious to start a new year?
I began thinking about this upon my arrival back to Holland. Guilt kicked in as my thoughts agreed with my question. What is it that I liked about my past two relationships? I was comfortable and to me being comfortable brings stability. Ah ha Einstein, comfortness and stability interwind and make me happy. I now have the answer to my life problems….not exactly.
Let’s use prince charming as an example. The prince and you were once on the way to your fairytale ending, but for some reason the fairytale ended early. You remain good friends, but for some reason when no one was thinking you decided to do more than friends should do. For you, your mind remains the same and nothing changes between you two. However, at your next encounter the prince gives you an indication it may be a non-one off situation yet no feelings are involved or none that one can admit.
This leaves you the princess with a dilemma.You have two doors. You either: a.) continue on as things are with the door opening to a chaotic world, which brings fun and current happiness, but the instability of a future. You get the highs and lows of the situation, which alone creates instability. Or b.) you open a door to calm non-chaotic, but dark world. Where you put complete space between you and the prince, which brings stability, but temporary misery because a strong love potion was used on you that you can’t shake so easily.
So the lesson learned from that situation and I know because that princess is me; is simply you have a choice to be miserable now with stability, because you are alone since you created space from the Prince. Or you have current instability, but are happy at present. Your choice to make.
I have come to realize that stability, which I always thought was key to my life is not always the best thing. Maybe I have too much comfort with my daily work/gym/study routines. My own bed is getting harder to leave and I am content with my current friends and house. Maybe my own comfort of stable routines is limiting me to whole new world out there? My horoscope gives me good indications that this year will be with many opportunities. Yet, how will I live it if I am at home in the comfort of my bed after the gym?
I am not saying I am giving up on my dog and wedding dress, I just know to get to that point there is a step before. That step is to meet a prince who will accept that the dog will come first in our marriage! That prince is not waiting for me in the comfort of my everyday routines. Further, screw the prince and what about me? I come first, I should step out of my comfort zone and do things that will only make me feel like the confident person I am. Which is why my agenda has now become full of activities and challenges. At the moment, unless I get poisoned again with a potion. I am focussing on me and leaving the chaotic romantic side alone. Now I am making my expat life less of a crisis and more of a mission to succeed.
So needless to say the comfort of stability is not always the happy answer. Sometimes comfortness puts you in a routine that prevents you from exploring the world or improving your own development. You just have to be ready for the chaotic world that is outside your comfort zone as it is not easy, but it too can bring you happiness if you find a way to tackle it. We shall see…